about pumpkins and our weekend

Now that tomorrow is the first day of October, I've definitely been bitten with the fall bug. I couldn't resist the bright orange pumpkins when I walked into Target today.

Penny was upset after I went inside for a second and came back out to find her chewing on a pumpkin stem. And was therefore reprimanded.

Aaron, Whitney, Baby, Penny.
(Yes, I did buy pumpkins for my unborn child and my dog. I'm pregnant. Just let me.)

And for inside fall decor, fresh flowers, of course.

I love fall. It's my favorite season.



Anyway, I've been missing in action this weekend because we were out and about quite a bit.

After our second Thursday night spaghetti attempt (still have some tweaks to make), we enjoyed our one evening at home for the entire week.

Friday night, we met some Journey high school students and leaders at North Hills for dinner and a movie. We ate Chick-fil-a and then were basically forced to see the only movie that was not rated R or filled with sex and cursing (besides the One Direction movie...):

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2.

Let's just say it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But that's not saying much. At least it was in 3D.


Saturday, we ran some errands which included picking up this fun welcome/goodbye mat for free.

Not a fan of shopping at Kohls usually because it stresses me out, but free things are always fun.

Saturday night, we spent the evening with two of my most favorite boys in the world. They are growing up so fast.

Opening belated presents from my parents.

And then there was Sunday. Sunday night we had a Back to School Bash for our middle and high school students. Chaotic fun was had by all. 

Obstacle course racing.

Middle school (high school was in the front of the building)

Everybody in the Warehouse for the concert.

It was a fun weekend! 

happy 15 weeks

I know that my "due date" is just an estimate, but we'll just go with it for now. So, assuming it's true...

Happy 15 weeks to Baby Bauer! Only 25 more to go!

The 14th week of pregnancy brought some much, much needed relief from nausea and vomiting. I have not thrown up since last Monday, and I have not felt very queasy either. Food sounds good for the most part, although I'm still avoiding a few things from my "do not eat" list...

I'm praying that I'm officially over all of that "fun" first trimester sickness stuff.

I am feeling pretty tired these days. For example, today I had it all planned out to clean when I got home from work around 1:30pm. But, when I walked in the door, I could barely muster up the energy to take Penny for a little walk. Instead of cleaning, I'm laying here on the couch typing this up. Oh well. Cleaning will wait for another day.

Our next appointment is a week from Monday, and not long after that we will know if we are having a "little princess" or a "little hero," as we like to say around here. 



My prayer for this month (and always, but specifically this month since I see it every time I come and go) is this:

I praise God that our baby already belongs to Him and pray that they will grow up to love Him with their whole heart!



Also, I was pretty super excited to get our announcement pictures from Amanda. You can check out the rest on my Facebook page.

And one that did not make the Facebook cut and is in no way foreshadowing a picture that is to come in the future. Just Aaron being...Aaron. 

It's never dull with him around.

about the time I let Aaron cook dinner

Ever since we've been married, Aaron has often mentioned how he would like to make his grandmother's spaghetti recipe. I would always reply, "You need to find the recipe."

He claimed that one time she had showed him how to make it and he had written it down  in a random notebook. He also claimed that he remembered it, mostly.

This, of course, made me nervous. Aaron isn't necessarily known as the "rememberer" around here. And I am not necessarily known as one who will make anything without strictly following a recipe.

But, something last week made me decide to let him try his attempt at this elusive spaghetti recipe. Maybe it is my pregnancy brain. Maybe it is because I'm usually dead tired at the end of the day and don't feel like cooking. Who knows.

I told him that he needed to give me a list of what he needed me to buy for it. He said he had to call his mom first.

I listened to his side of the conversation and tried to butt out when I heard him say things like, "So I don't have to add that if I don't want to..."

When he got off the phone, I asked, "So, did you write it down?"

"It's not really something you can write down."

"What?"

"Well, it's never been written down exactly..."

"What?! Well then it's not a recipe! It's play kitchen!"

Then he laughed at me. I took a deep breath. "What do you need at the store?"

"Just tomato paste. We have everything else."

"That's it? Nothing else?"

"Well, I thought we would need more garlic, but my mom said you can just add however much you feel like."

"Dear Lord. What have I gotten myself into..."



That night, Aaron got home with his tomato paste and a smile on his face. "Oh boy! Let's make spaghetti!"

"Do you want my help?" I asked.

"Only if you want to help."

I wasn't sure what the best thing for me to do was. I tried to stay out of his way as much as possible, but I did help with a few things.

Making meatballs. No measuring. Just "what feels right." (a.k.a. my kitchen nightmare)

"I'm not sure how many cans we'll need. So I got four." Oi. Even Penny looks suspicious.

Mincing garlic. He's still super cute.

While I browned the meatballs in a pan, the pasta was boiling, and Aaron set to work on the most important part:  the sauce.

He added two cans of tomato paste to the garlic and onion, and then kept adding water until "it looked right." Then there was spices, salt and pepper, and sugar (which I find so strange to add to spaghetti sauce). 

Finally, we had a finished product.

I have to admit, it was tasty. We both agreed that it needed a little less sugar next time. Other than that, he said it tasted just like grandma's. And I thought it tasted really good.

I liked it. Baby liked it. Aaron liked it.

Therefore, it's on the menu again this week. Anything I don't have to cook is totally on the menu.

about the MSO retreat

Whew...am I glad that I have a good 12 years or so before I am a parent to a middle schooler. I love our middle schoolers, don't get me wrong, but I'm not ready to take one home with me.

Our fall middle school retreat was a lot of non-stop fun. We left last Friday evening, and after traffic, a dinner stop, and rain, we rolled into the Ridgecrest Conference Center in Black Mountain, NC around 9:00pm.

By the time the kids were sorted into their rooms with all of their luggage, it was 10:00pm. Baby Bauer and I were done for the day and opted out of the campfire that was supposed to last until 11:30. A shower and bed sounded like wise choice for us instead.

The next morning, I felt much better, and it was so nice to wake up in the mountains.

Aaron and I walked to breakfast and ran into a groundhog/gopher/beaver thing on our way. He let us get so close before he ran away. Sorry for the blurry picture.

After breakfast, we had our morning session. The plan was for everyone to go on a four hour canoe trip that afternoon, but the weather had other plans. Thankfully, Asheville has this amazing land of fun called "Fun Depot," and I think it more than made up for the missed canoe trip.

I, on the other hand, played my pregnant card again and decided not to spend four hours playing lazer tag and video games and mini golf indoors. I found a fun organic pizza place down the road for lunch instead...

...and followed that up with a three hour nap.

The elusive second trimester energy boost has yet to strike, but thank God I have not felt sick for a whole week.

By the time everyone got back that evening, I was well-rested and joined them for dinner, an evening session, and a movie night (since it was still raining).

Sunday morning, we woke up and packed up. After breakfast and one last session, we headed back to Raleigh. 

The retreat was short and sweet, but I think they all felt like they had been there for a week. Nobody except me got any rest during their non-stop days! (And I still took a nap when I got home on Sunday so I imagine they needed one for sure.) We have amazing leaders and I am thankful that they are willing to spend a weekend on little sleep with 30 energetic middle schoolers.

And I'm thankful that I got to go with them, even if I had to skip out on some of the fun. 

about my first trimester

According to my due date, Baby Bauer is 14 weeks old today! Time has not gone by slowly, necessarily, but it's not felt like it's flying by either. Some days I feel like I've been pregnant for so long, and I can't believe how much time is left. 

I like being pregnant though, and I cannot get over that there is a tiny little human growing inside of me. Woah. That's insanely amazing.



The first trimester was not too bad, I don't think. 

I didn't have any pregnancy "symptoms" until around six weeks. Then came the heartburn. Awful heartburn. Followed by a couple weeks of nausea. That whole "morning sickness" thing really needs a new name that encompasses the whole day.

Around week nine or ten I felt much better for a few consistent days. I thought I was out of the woods. But then it came back in full force and I was throwing up every meal except dinner for a week or so.

The past couple weeks I have had more good days than bad, which has been nice. I'll have a couple days where I feel fine and all food tastes good, and then there will be a day where even the thought of certain foods makes me gag.

The rumors say that any day now I should feel like I'm on top of a cloud and that I could run a marathon or something. We'll just see about that. (And pray that's true!)



Aaron has been very wonderful of course, and he has taken excellent care of me. Any time I throw up, he stands at the door and asks if I want anything. I never do, but it's still sweet of him to ask. Then he just adds whatever food that just made me sick to the list of things "the baby doesn't like."

And some might fault him for laughing at me when I cry over things all the time. I already cried a lot, and pregnancy has multiplied it greatly. But I can't get upset with him for laughing at me when I cry, because even I know that I'm crying over ridiculous things.

I've not yet played the "I must have this certain strange and random food right now. Please go get it for me," card yet. I've thought about it, tossed some things around, but not made the official request as of yet. And Aaron is always nice to at least offer to go when I say something like, "Oh, scallops would be so good right now!"



Things that have not made me sick and that I like to eat so far are:  Goldfish crackers, Greek yogurt, apples, bananas, berries, bagels, and mashed or baked potatoes.

Things that may or may not have made me sick but just don't sound good at all currently are:  eggs in any form, salsa, vegetables that I normally love (squash, zucchini, broccoli, spinach), chicken that I cook (chicken from somewhere else is fine), and bacon (weird, right?).

There are probably more things for each list, but you get the general idea.



It's definitely been a fun adventure so far, and we are enjoying and praising God for every minute of it. The sick parts might not be so fun, but if that means the baby is growing and healthy in there, I'll take being sick any day.

Although, I won't be complaining when the sick part is over...

the story of Baby Bauer's heartbeat

I think we can get caught up to speed as far as doctor's appointments after this post...

So, after our second appointment, we had to wait five weeks. Five. Weeks.

For someone who wishes she could just have an ultrasound machine in her house, that seemed like a really, really long time.

Alas, we waited.

Thankfully, our life stays pretty insanely busy. Time did go by pretty fast.

Last Thursday, the day of our appointment had finally arrived. I woke up and wondered what had possessed me to ask for an afternoon appointment five weeks earlier. Now that the day was here, that seemed like a stupid idea. Oh well.

We went to work, and I found plenty to do to occupy my time. I was also exceptionally sick that day. I had been having a few good days where I hadn't thrown up at all. Something about Thursday made all food I ingested come right back up. Nerves, perhaps.

I went home at 12:30 to take Penny out and spend an hour with her before I met Aaron at the doctor's office.

I read scripture and journaled while I waited. That was better than sitting there feeling anxious for an hour. The last thing I wrote in my journal before I got up to leave was "I trust You no matter what." 

The drive to our doctor's office is only ten minutes. Aaron was on his way but not there yet when I got there, so I went ahead inside.

He arrived shortly before the triage nurse called me back.

She went about her business with her testing and questions and things. My arm was being squeezed to death by the blood pressure cuff when she posed the fun question of: "Did they tell you that you would need a finger prick today?"

While this was a surprise, it was merely an annoyance. It was over quickly, and my iron level passed. Yay. No finger prick next time.

While she was bandaging my sore finger, I wanted to make sure of something, "We will get to hear the baby's heartbeat today, right?"

"Oh yes! You will hear the heartbeat at every appointment now," she said, smiling at my obvious first-timer-ness.

She then informed me that it was in-house surgery day at their office, and the wait was probably going to be longer than usual. She apologized. I accepted, keeping my heart happy despite this news and went back to sit with Aaron in the waiting room.

Of course it was a longer wait today.

I practiced patience the best I could, and we played Where's My Water? on Aaron's iPhone while we waited another thirty minutes.

When I finally heard my name, my heart did a little jump. Here we go. It was time to hear Baby Bauer's heartbeat...

We waited again in the exam room for the doctor to come in. Not too long this time, thankfully. It was a doctor we hadn't seen yet, and in she came with her quiet, ?Russian? (not sure on that, but something over on that side of the world) accent.

We listened very closely to make out what she was saying as she asked how I was feeling and if we had any questions. If I did have any questions, I forgot them all in lieu of the impending heartbeat hearing.

I laid down, and she got her little heartbeat machine thing ready. *insert accent in your head* "Now, it is still early to hear the heartbeat, so do not panic if it takes me a few minutes to find it."

"Okay." At least she is laying out the expectations. I like her, I thought.

She began searching for the heartbeat. There was a lot of crackling and clicking and whooshing. I stared at the ceiling and listened closely. Every time I thought maybe I heard a beat-beat-beat, she would move it. So that was apparently not it. After what felt like five minutes, but could have been shorter, she stopped. *insert accent* "We will go into the ultrasound room so we can see where the heartbeat is. Then we will hear it easily. Do not worry." She smiled.

"Okay. Thank you," I was doing my best not to worry.

"Let me make sure there is a room open. Wait here."

So, per the theme of the appointment, we waited. Forever. But really only another five minutes.

Aaron and I talked and reassured each other that we both thought we perhaps heard a heartbeat-sounding sound. Before too many worried thoughts could creep into my mind, I heard, "Do you trust Me no matter what?"

Wow. Yes. I do. 

And I knew everything would be okay.

We were finally escorted to the room with the ultrasound machine and technician. I'm pretty sure we interrupted her busy day, because she didn't say much.

She held the little wand to my stomach and turned on the sound.

Right away, we heard the amazing, miraculous, LOUD, fast heartbeat of our little baby! It was only for a few seconds, but I can still remember it. She told us that it's little heart was beating 165 beats per minute. And she turned the monitor so we could see and pointed out the head and the body quickly. Then she turned everything off. My head screamed Wait! I wasn't done listening to that!

I thanked her for what seemed like an inconvenience to her, but I didn't really care what she thought. I was praising God because He proved yet again that I can trust Him no matter what. He is keeping our baby safe and healthy!

We went back to our original exam room so the doctor could come back one last time to wrap up our appointment. While we waited, I told Aaron that God teaches me to trust Him more every time we have one of these appointments. He smiled. 

When the very nice foreign accent doctor came back, she said the baby's heartbeat was good and strong. She sent us off to make two appointments and for me to have blood drawn to test my thyroid level. Even more needles couldn't get me down that day.

We scheduled our next appointment for four weeks away. And we also got to schedule our anatomy ultrasound! It is right in between our birthdays. October is going to be better than it usually is!

about our second ultrasound

There is so much to catch up on since I've had this big, baby secret since the middle of July.

After our first visit to the doctor to get the pregnancy confirmed, I was already further along than the first time when I was pregnant and lost the baby.

But, we were still hesitant to share it with a lot of people. So, we were going to wait until our next appointment (two weeks later) to share with other family and very close friends. And the plan was to wait until after the first trimester to share with everyone.

At our second appointment, I was about eight weeks pregnant. I was so nervous laying there in the room with Aaron waiting for the doctor to come in to do the ultrasound. I knew that I had nothing to be scared of, but I was just ready to see for myself that there was a baby in there. I felt like the guy in the Bible..."I believe! Help my unbelief!"

The doctor came in, finally, and after a few questions, they turned out the lights. I grabbed Aaron's hand, and we waited in anticipation.

Seconds later, we were looking at a tiny, black and white, little blob that was our 1.5cm baby. Tears came to my eyes as he said, "There's your baby."

All I could say was "Oh, good," as I let out a sigh. It was really in there!

Then, he pointed out a little blinking part and told us that was the baby's heartbeat. It seemed like it was blinking so. fast.

The doctor said it was a nice, strong heartbeat.

"Can we hear it?" I asked.

"Not today. But next time you can. It's too much energy for the baby right now."

I, of course, was totally fine with that then.

We proudly took our little print-out of our baby and scheduled our next appointment. Five weeks seemed like an eternity to wait!

So cute, right?!

We told our siblings and grandparents after that. We also had a fun FaceTime call with Bensen and Keyen to tell their family. Bensen says that he will teach our baby to play. 

At Journey that weekend, we told some of our friends that we work with, and Aaron e-mailed the staff. Word started to get around a little bit, and pretty soon we weren't sure who knew and who didn't. We decided to just start telling people at church as we ran into them.

So, the cat was out of the bag at Journey, but we somehow still kept it off Facebook for five weeks. That, I believe, is a miracle. Thank you, wonderful friends. 

Stay tuned for the story of our next appointment; my crazy, sensitive, pregnancy emotion stories; and other fun baby things that I've been storing up to tell you.

about the journey so far

I have been waiting impatiently to finally share this with the world wide web for almost two months now.

This is me shouting from the rooftops that my sweet Aaron and I are having a baby in March!

We are SO EXCITED that I feel like we need a better word to describe it than excited. Alas, it will have to do.

We started trying to get pregnant in February of 2013, and it actually happened right away, to our great surprise. But, after just one week of knowing about it, our sweet baby went to be with Jesus. We were heartbroken, but we knew that His ways were higher than ours. We kept trying.

After a couple more months of trying, I knew that I just needed to relax about it. I think it's true that stressing about it makes it less likely to happen. It wasn't going to happen in my timing anyway. I might as well not worry about it. I released my control of it, and just enjoyed the phase of life we were in. (Hey, it's fun trying to have a baby, if you know what I mean...)

In July, I knew it was getting close to the time where I could take a pregnancy test. I had a debate in my head of whether I should wait a couple of days or just take it. 

I decided to take it, but not to lose heart if it didn't show up yet. It was still a little early.

I peed on the stick in the other bathroom and just left it in there while I went to get ready for the day. I tried not to think about it.

When I finally went back to look at it, I just stared at it. There was a super faint second pink line.

"Ummmm....Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"I think there's two lines."

"What?"

"I think there's two lines?"

He came to look. He concurred that there were indeed two lines.

We expressed reserved excitement. "Let's take another one tomorrow," he said.

I took a pregnancy test every day for the next three mornings. The lines got progressively darker. We got progressively more excited.

I called and made an appointment at the OB-GYN. We told our parents. And then Aaron went out of town for five days.

Waiting a week to go to the doctor was hard, especially since he was gone. I may or may not have taken more pregnancy tests...

When we went to get the pregnancy confirmed, the baby was still too tiny to show up on the ultrasound. But, we did get to see a little black dot that showed it was indeed in there. It was probably the cutest black dot you ever did see.


This experience has been so, so good for me. Yes, having a miscarriage was really hard. It does it's best to really mess with your head and heart. But, it has shown me just how much I need Jesus. He gives hope and comfort and life and peace. This time around, I've been a little more hesitant and on edge. I am constantly surrendering that to Him and giving Him the control He already has. He loves this baby way more than I do. And, every time I have worried about an appointment or a strange symptom that freaks me out, He has shown off. He is always proving that He is trustworthy. I am glad for all of the chances He gives me when I let doubts in my mind.


Aaron and I cannot wait to be parents to this precious little one, and we are already praying that their heart will be drawn to Jesus. We are so blessed to be surrounded by friends and family that will speak truth into their life.

Sweet Baby Bauer, you are already so loved! We can't wait to meet you!

Photo taken by Amanda Ivey.

with die-of-cuteness Penny pictures

Even though it's not Penny's real birthday today, it is the day we brought her home two years ago, so it's a little more significant to us.

Happy Homecoming Day, Penny!

She pretty much makes me want to die from cuteness.

Anyone have a time machine?

Of course, she's still super cute...

But I do miss that sweet, tiny, puppy face sometimes.

about our trip and happy birthday

Hello from Murfreesboro, TN.

Aaron is having a great time at his retreat so far, and I enjoy seeing everyone as well. He is out and about with his INFUSE group most of the time while we are here, but we did have some time to hang out on Wednesday when we arrived in the morning.

We stopped at a coffee shop in downtown Nashville that we love called Fido.

Latte art continues to amuse me.

Beautiful day in Nashville

We drove around downtown for awhile and then went to the Opry Mills Mall and attempted not to spend any money. Aaron did spoil me with a beautiful Cinderella throw blanket that was on clearance at the Disney outlet. 

It was on MAJOR clearance, or we never would have bought it. I can't wait to take it home and put it...somewhere. Not sure where yet.


Yesterday he was gone for most of the day and I joined him for meals.


Today is about the same but I am pretty excited because dinner tonight is at a restaurant that has live Bluegrass music. I don't suppose I love Bluegrass music, but it will be a new experience anyway.

We head back to Raleigh tomorrow and get to see this friendly little monster that we miss terribly:

Lastly, I can't let September 6th go by without saying "Happy Birthday!" to one of my favorite little boys. Happy 2nd Birthday, Keyen! We love you!

in pictures

I told you last Monday that we had a project for our college small group, Journey18:25, to take a picture to represent each day of creation. Since I love creation, and small group, and taking pictures...I did my homework.

On the first day, God spoke light into existence, and then separated the light from the darkness.

On the second day, God separated the waters on earth to make a huge expanse called sky.

On the third day, God gathered the waters on earth and made land, and trees, and flowers, and plants.

On the fourth day, God made bright lights in the sky. He made a brighter light to rule the day and a lesser light for the night. He also spoke the stars into existence.

On the fifth day, God created birds to fly in the air and fish to swim in the waters. (Side note: I thought I would be stuck taking a picture of our betta fish, Jonah, but then I took Penny outside and captured these two birds. God thing.)

On the sixth day, God made the land animals, like sweet puppy dogs and giant elephants. Then, he created man in his own image. A man and a woman. It was definitely the best day.



So, those were my pictures for the days of creation. 

God saw everything he had made. And it was very good.