about the journey so far

I have been waiting impatiently to finally share this with the world wide web for almost two months now.

This is me shouting from the rooftops that my sweet Aaron and I are having a baby in March!

We are SO EXCITED that I feel like we need a better word to describe it than excited. Alas, it will have to do.

We started trying to get pregnant in February of 2013, and it actually happened right away, to our great surprise. But, after just one week of knowing about it, our sweet baby went to be with Jesus. We were heartbroken, but we knew that His ways were higher than ours. We kept trying.

After a couple more months of trying, I knew that I just needed to relax about it. I think it's true that stressing about it makes it less likely to happen. It wasn't going to happen in my timing anyway. I might as well not worry about it. I released my control of it, and just enjoyed the phase of life we were in. (Hey, it's fun trying to have a baby, if you know what I mean...)

In July, I knew it was getting close to the time where I could take a pregnancy test. I had a debate in my head of whether I should wait a couple of days or just take it. 

I decided to take it, but not to lose heart if it didn't show up yet. It was still a little early.

I peed on the stick in the other bathroom and just left it in there while I went to get ready for the day. I tried not to think about it.

When I finally went back to look at it, I just stared at it. There was a super faint second pink line.

"Ummmm....Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"I think there's two lines."

"What?"

"I think there's two lines?"

He came to look. He concurred that there were indeed two lines.

We expressed reserved excitement. "Let's take another one tomorrow," he said.

I took a pregnancy test every day for the next three mornings. The lines got progressively darker. We got progressively more excited.

I called and made an appointment at the OB-GYN. We told our parents. And then Aaron went out of town for five days.

Waiting a week to go to the doctor was hard, especially since he was gone. I may or may not have taken more pregnancy tests...

When we went to get the pregnancy confirmed, the baby was still too tiny to show up on the ultrasound. But, we did get to see a little black dot that showed it was indeed in there. It was probably the cutest black dot you ever did see.


This experience has been so, so good for me. Yes, having a miscarriage was really hard. It does it's best to really mess with your head and heart. But, it has shown me just how much I need Jesus. He gives hope and comfort and life and peace. This time around, I've been a little more hesitant and on edge. I am constantly surrendering that to Him and giving Him the control He already has. He loves this baby way more than I do. And, every time I have worried about an appointment or a strange symptom that freaks me out, He has shown off. He is always proving that He is trustworthy. I am glad for all of the chances He gives me when I let doubts in my mind.


Aaron and I cannot wait to be parents to this precious little one, and we are already praying that their heart will be drawn to Jesus. We are so blessed to be surrounded by friends and family that will speak truth into their life.

Sweet Baby Bauer, you are already so loved! We can't wait to meet you!

Photo taken by Amanda Ivey.