Thursday, April 9, 2015

a year gone by

THIS WAS YESTERDAY. (so it seems)


Time, like money, is very relative. It comes and goes. You want more or you have less.

Some people have kids that are grown way more than mine and could truly say that they have been a parent for a long time.

I have only been a parent for one year. But, to me right now, that is a pretty long time.

Aaron and I actually made it through the first year of our first child. We even really, really enjoyed it and are looking forward to the second year! And one day in the future, even a second kid! (Have courage, new parents!)

Anyway.

Here are some of my thoughts on lessons learned, baby products I loved, and maybe a word of encouragement if you're still at the very beginning of this thing called parenting.




First, here's 3 things I've learned, and let's face it, I am still learning!

1.  There is seriously not one right way to do anything with a baby. You must keep your baby rested, fed, clean, dressed, and healthy. And there are about a hundred ways to accomplish each of those things. Just try getting on Google and typing in something like "what to do if my baby has diarrhea." The first post will tell you not to worry too much. The next one will say to rush them straight to the doctor. Good. Grief. With your first baby, every little thing is new. All you want to do is make the right decision. You just need somebody to tell you what that decision is. AND THERE'S NO ONE THAT CAN. This is frustrating. If I may speak to myself too, because I still freak out sometimes, I want to tell you that you can make the decision, whatever it may be, and you will figure out the right one. Once you do, stick with it. It's right for you and your family.

2.  FLEXIBILITY. Oh man, I am not one that loves being flexible. Things have an order. There is a schedule. Please don't be late. Please don't make changes last minute. This is where this sits in the house and it can't be moved. Haha do I sound crazy? Maybe I'm being a tad extreme in my description of myself. If you are not like this, that is probably a good thing! If you are, you will learn (or have learned) that a baby pretty much requires constant flexibility. Even with a schedule (because believe me, Graeme has been on one since we came home with him), it is inevitable that something will need to be changed almost daily. And as much as I love a clean house, some days it's just not in the cards. On the days when I wake up with a "let's get things done when possible, but it's okay if they don't happen" attitude, it's a much better day for everyone.

3.  Comparison will steal your joy.  Like I said above, you figure out what works for your baby and then stick with it. THEN, do not compare what you're doing with other moms and either second guess yourself or look down on them for what they are doing. We've all heard that every baby is different. Well, it's true. One baby walks at ten months. The other doesn't walk until 15 months. One started eating table food at six months. The other didn't start until 12 months. One baby takes three naps. The other at the same age takes two. You give Tylenol. They use home remedies. You co-sleep. They put their baby in the crib the day they brought him home. It goes on and on and on. I think we can all agree that we hate to be judged, especially on how we parent. But we are often quick to judge others. Instead, treat others as you want to be treated. Be an encourager. And don't miss out on the joys of watching your little one grow by always worrying what someone else is doing or thinking.





Alright, let's move on to something lighter and more fun! I'm going to try to list my top 3 products that we have used for an entire year and still love. Now, there are tons of other things that we love and use all of the time. But these 3 we have used since Graeme has been born and still love to use them. These are not in order at all.



1. Fisher Price light-up seahorse. I don't know what it is about this strange blue seahorse, but we have used it almost every day since Graeme has been born. I turn it on when I lay him in his crib, and most of the time, he is asleep before it stops glowing and playing music. At the start of this year, I would not have known how much we would love this thing. I cannot believe it's on my list, but it is.








2. JJ Cole diaper bag. My parents were gracious in buying me this bag, because I honestly thought it was a little pricey for a diaper bag. I am sure any old bag would due the trick to carry a baby's things. But, I will say that I still love my diaper bag and I am not at all sick of it. It has tons of pockets and tons of room. I have the matching diaper clutch which is awesome. I am usually sick of a purse after a few months, but after a whole year with this bag, I am not tired of the color or of carrying it around. 








3. Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing.  I know this is not a baby product, per se. We have, with very few exceptions, read a page out of this book every night of Graeme's life. We are on our third time through it currently. It is the last thing we read to him before we pray and lay him down at night. And it is constantly encouraging me or speaking into a situation we are in the midst of. I love, love this book. I don't know that I could ever tire of reading these little thoughts.











Wow. I still can't believe a whole year has gone by since we brought our baby boy home. He is so different now. It is amazing watching a baby grow first hand from literally just laying around and doing not much of anything, to a year later being able to talk and express himself and do so many things on his own. I know Aaron and I are a long, long way from being any sort of parenting experts. I don't think there really is such a thing. But getting to that very first birthday feels like quite the accomplishment. It is hard work. It is rewarding and frustrating and draining and fulfilling. All at the same time. What a conundrum being a parent is!

If you're just starting out, it seems quite daunting. And when your day with your newborn baby seems entirely too long, you might hate hearing "That first year will fly by!" But it will. It does. So, as cliche as this is:  Enjoy it. Not in the "enjoy every second" way. (Because who really enjoys losing sleep and getting spit up on all the time?!) But, enjoy it. In the "find joy in every day" way. Stop worrying about measuring up and messing up and enjoy your baby.

You can do it. You've got this. You are the parents meant for your child.

Babies do not keep. Fact.