If you were to drive straight through with no stops and no traffic from my grandparents house to Raleigh, it would take you about nine hours. This is, of course, impossible, unless you had a car that didn't need gas for 600 miles or a bladder that didn't need to be emptied. It is definitely impossible with a three-month-old and a dog that hates the car.
Nonetheless, we set out in high spirits from my grandparents at 11:15am with a tired baby that fell right to sleep for a nap and a Penny that resigned herself to the backseat for a long drive home.
Our first conundrum was that after you drive an hour from my grandparents, you officially leave behind the majority of civilization for the next two hours. We didn't want to stop after just one hour (don't wake a sleeping baby just so you can eat somewhere that's not sketchy!). But, we knew we wouldn't make it two more hours either. We figured we would press our luck and find somewhere to stop in the "deadlands."
Graeme took a long nap, but it was eventually time to stop so he could eat. We were hungry too. We came upon a McDonalds, and that seemed to be our only option. Unless we wanted to eat at "Grannie's Kitchen." Which we did not.
Now, our next issue was that it was 90 degrees outside in the middle of the afternoon. We couldn't (and wouldn't) leave Penny in the car. This meant we had to cart our things over to some picnic tables that this McDonalds had outside. Thankfully, they were in the shade under some trees. I poured Penny some water into her travel dish and started feeding Graeme. Aaron went in to the restroom and then came out and switched with me. I ordered food to-go and brought it outside.
We wanted Graeme to be able to stretch out after 2 hours in his carseat, so we layered a changing pad and a couple blankets on the picnic table so he could lay down and wiggle. He didn't seem to mind his strange surroundings. He did, however, kick over Aaron's ginormous, full-to-the-brim sweet tea that spilled all over the table barely missing our phones and keys. The boys shared the blame on that one.
We got back in the car after our McDonalds picnic and pressed on. I sat in the back with Graeme now that he was awake and we played for awhile. After another hour, he and I both fell asleep.
When I woke up again, Graeme was already awake. Aaron and I figured we should start searching for our next stop. I checked my phone and realized we had again passed all decent civilization. We were in the middle of Georgia with nothing much in sight for miles. We settled on a TA Travel Center after a few exits of Waffle Houses and Exxons.
This time, there were no shady picnic tables. Aaron got gas and then parked the car. He took Penny outside. I put some water in Penny's dish and set it in the cup holders up front. Then, I fed Graeme in the backseat. When he was done, I laid him down back there so he could stretch out, and I got in the passenger seat and leaned over to talk to him. When Aaron came back, we switched, and I went in to buy some snacks for us.
Upon returning, I sat in the driver's seat to eat my yogurt. Aaron was eating his granola bar. All of a sudden, I hear, "Oh no!" Aaron hadn't noticed Penny's water in the cup holder and set his phone down in it. It was only a 1/4 inch deep, and he has an Otter Box, but he freaked out anyway. I let him carry on, and went around the car to change Graeme's diaper. When I opened the diaper to find more than I bargained for, I quickly searched for the wipes with one hand while holding Graeme's legs and feet up out the mess. Aaron was still panicking over his phone. And then I heard a water-splashing sound.
I looked up to see Graeme peeing all over his face. And the blanket he was laying on. And his shirt. While he laughed and smiled. Now it was my turn to freak out. "Aaron!!"
After a wipe down, literally, for Graeme, and throwing all of the pee-soaked things in the crowded trunk, we set off again. I took a turn at the wheel and Aaron sat in the back with the kids. I asked him to tilt the mirror that we have to see Graeme from the front because it had shifted in all of the mayhem. When he went to move it, it disintegrated. The straps that wrapped around the headrest fell apart. So there was that.
We drove on.
I asked Aaron if I could have one of his Pringles. He said "Sure, here you go." I reached my hand back blindly and smashed the Pringle to pieces all over the car. So there was that.
We drove on.
Our next, and what we hoped was our last stop ended up being at Wendy's. We tried to hold out for Chick-fil-a or Zaxby's, but it just wasn't in the cards. It was 8:00pm and Graeme was tired and hungry. It was cooler outside now, and we only planned on a 20 minute stop, so we cracked the windows for Penny and hurried inside. Of course, this Wendy's had just one girl taking orders and gathering everyone's food. So that took awhile. We scarfed down dinner and made sure Graeme was full and dry. We started off again with just three hours left to drive. We thought he would fall asleep and sleep until we got home.
Wrong.
He would not go to sleep. He got himself so worked up that we even resorted to trying to give him a pacifier I had in the diaper bag. He wouldn't even take it (which made me happy in the sense that we at least broke him of that for sure!). After 20 minutes of non-stop crying, we pulled over and got him out. He was all smiles as soon as he was out of the carseat. I pointed out that the exit we had chosen had a very nice looking Holiday Inn. It looked very inviting at this point. But with less than three hours to go, we pressed on.
I sat in the back with Graeme again to try to keep him calm so he could go to sleep. He was much happier with me next to him, but now he was only interested in smiling and playing. Then, the hiccup monster came. That hiccup monster chooses the worst times to visit usually.
Graeme gets the hiccups pretty often and they last for-ev-er. At least, that's what it seems like. Especially after being in the car for ten hours. The hiccups got him all upset, and then I started to smell something strange. Seriously kid, again?
Yes. Again.
We pulled over, again, less than 2 hours away from home.
I changed Graeme in the car and apologized very profusely that he did indeed have to get back in his carseat. He started the most pitiful cry. I sat with him and held his hand until he finally fell asleep. At this point, it was 10:30pm. We pulled up to our house at 11:45pm. Just 12.5 hours from when we left Florida.
It was a long, long day, but we had so much fun laughing about all of our misfortunes and adventures. Poor Graeme got fed up with the carseat there at the end, but who wouldn't?!
What fun memories we made on our very first road trip together.
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