Maisy's birth story part 1

It's been awhile since I've had time to sit down and blog, and as I'm sure you all know, Maisy is here!

Yes, she is beautiful. I mean, I'll be honest in that I was a little nervous that our second baby wouldn't be as cute as our first. Graeme was clearly adorable...

I had nothing to worry about though. God gave us two beautiful, healthy children. We are so very thankful for both of them!



I guess I'll backtrack a bit before I get into the birth story...

The end of my second pregnancy got fairly miserable. I know I didn't have it nearly as bad as some people, but I was done being pregnant. My feet were so swollen and sore, and I was running out of shoes that fit. My back hurt. My heartburn was bad. I was so tired all the time. And uncomfortable. Among other things that weren't fun. Oh, and I still had to wrangle a heavy toddler every day...

Sorry. After-the-fact, not-necessary complaining is over.

And I knew that any day none of that would matter anymore and of course it would all be worth it. And I knew I shouldn't complain because I was blessed to be pregnant with a healthy baby. But, truthfully, when that "due date" is still a mystery and days keep going by with no baby, it gets a bit frustrating. I wasn't really counting on Maisy coming early, but I hoped that she did.

She did not.

January 1st. New Year's Day. Due Date.

It came. And it went.

I had an appointment on New Year's Eve (Thursday) and my doctor said I was half a centimeter dilated. I was pretty sure he just said that to try to make me feel a little better. My only solace was that I had an appointment Monday morning and I could schedule an induction from there. I was nervous about going too late because Graeme was a pretty big baby and Maisy had been measuring big too. 

I tried to keep my hopes up and pray a lot. I knew that God knew exactly when Maisy would come and all I really cared about was that she was safe and healthy. We enjoyed a fun weekend with Graeme.

On Sunday, all was normal. No signs of baby Maisy. Graeme and I went to church. I sat in our first service with Aaron. I had steady contractions all through the service, which was really nothing new. They were hardly painful. And when I stood up afterwards and moved around, they stopped.

I lead worship for our preschoolers during the second hour. One of the songs was a bit lively and required some jumping. I told the kids that it had better help me have a baby.

Little did I know, it just might have...


Graeme took a great nap that afternoon. I had considered a nap, and was tired, but at that point it was a lot harder for me to sleep at night if I slept during the day. (But I really should have taken a nap!)

Aaron had to stay late for a meeting after church and didn't make it home until around 4:00 that afternoon. When he got home, we put in place our plan to start cleaning the house for the week ahead. I typically do all of the cleaning, but the week before when I had cleaned by myself I hurt my back really bad. I relented that I was pregnant enough (at 40+ weeks...ha!) that I needed his help that he had offered for many weeks. He played with Graeme while I did the lighter work of dusting and wiping things down. Then we would switch and he would vacuum and mop the floors and do anything that required a lot of bending over. 

It was slow going, but we made a lot of good progress. We would be able to finish quickly once Graeme was in bed and we could both work at the same time. Around 5:30, we did one final switch before we would take a break to do Graeme's bath/book/bedtime routine. I came upstairs to play with Graeme while Aaron went down to mop all of the hardwood floors.

Graeme and I were in the playroom and I had painstakingly lowered myself down to sit on the floor for the thousandth time that day. Even though I was trying to take it easy with the cleaning, I had still been working pretty hard and had been on my feet a lot all day. Graeme got up from where we were playing with his kitchen and ran into his room.

"What are you doing, buddy?"

No answer.

"Hey, Graeme, come back out here please..."

Silence.

Not that there is anything in his room that could hurt him. But, he's a toddler. We are constantly only seconds away from some sort of giant mess. And it was really close to bed time. I looked down at my watch. It was 5:44pm. The time for giant messes had passed.

The thought of getting up from the floor to stand and walk the 10 feet to his room sounded nearly impossible at that time. My brain couldn't get my legs to stand. But, crawling didn't sound so bad. My legs didn't mind that so much.

I began crawling to Graeme's room. And all of a sudden, I felt a very slight and strange twinge-y thing in my stomach. And then my legs were very warm. And very wet. And I quickly deduced that it was impossible that I was peeing my pants.

And remembering it now seems like it all happened slowly. But no, it was very fast. I suddenly had no trouble at all bolting to my feet and running quickly to the bathroom that was thankfully right next to me. All the while yelling "IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENING!"

"What?! What's happening?!" Aaron yelled from downstairs. "What's wrong?! What is it?"

"MY WATER JUST BROKE!"

I was in quite a bit of shock. My water did not break when I had Graeme and I was not expecting it to this time. It was quite the strange feeling. 

Aaron ran up the steps freaking out and brought me towels.

I called the on-call doctor while I stood in the bathroom on towels. I had to leave a message.

While I was on hold to leave a message, Aaron quickly called my parents to try to figure out what to do with Graeme since it was almost time for him to go to bed. I asked if they would mind coming up here so he could just sleep in his own bed for that night. They agreed that would be easiest.

Graeme thankfully ran around clueless to everything but probably thought we were being quite crazy.

Thankfully, the doctor called right back. It wasn't a doctor from my practice, but he was nice. It's funny to me that the first question is "Is this your first baby?" I feel like when I say it's my second I earn a few points and they trust me a bit more to know what's going on. The doctor said that since I hadn't been having any contractions, there was really no rush to get to the hospital. As long as I was comfortable at home, we didn't need to head that way for a few hours.

This made me feel much better and then I was able to be quite calm. I loved that I could now put Graeme to bed like normal, finish cleaning the house, finish packing the hospital bag, and take a shower. As long as I did all of those things with towels in between my legs, of course. Ha.

Aaron, on the other hand, thought I was insane when I spouted off all the things I wanted to do. He might be right, but coming home with a baby to a clean house was definitely something we were doing. No question.

My parents arrived not long after we called them as we set them into panic mode as well. But, it was good that my mom was there to help Aaron finish cleaning. The plan was for my dad to spend the night at our house with Graeme and for my mom to come to the hospital with us.

Aaron's parents joined us shortly thereafter and his mom was going to come to the hospital with us too while his dad kept my dad company and watched the football game before he would come.

Around 8:30pm I finally decided that I should probably drink some water and actually rest for awhile.

As soon as I laid down on the couch, I noticed that I was having contractions. And they were a bit painful. I started watching the clock and realized they were only two-three minutes apart.

Thirty minutes later, I went upstairs where Aaron was shaving and finishing getting ready to go.

"Hey...so, no big rush, but I think we should probably leave pretty soon. My contractions are starting to hurt pretty bad and they are about three minutes a part..."

At that, he accidentally cut his face in his rush to finish shaving. I reminded him that I had said "no big rush..." We quickly threw the last couple of things in the bag, peaked in on Graeme one last time, and said goodbyes to our dads.

Our moms got in Aaron's car while we got in our van. And off we went to the hospital. Maisy was for sure on her way!'

To be continued...

time flies...mostly

We are just 72 days away from our due date (which also means there are only 72 days left in 2015!). I will be 30 weeks pregnant on Friday. This pregnancy has mostly gone by a little faster than my pregnancy with Graeme, but I still feel like I have been pregnant 

for-ev-er.  

It is pretty crazy to imagine going from having one child to suddenly having two. We already talk and think like Maisy is one of our children of course, but it will be different once she's actually here with us. Lord willing, we will go to the hospital with one carseat and leave with two.

I am curious how Graeme will react, and there's really no way to know. He is a complete momma's boy for one thing, so I'm sure it will be an adjustment for him. I don't know how he compares with other kids (maybe he's just a normal amount attached to me!), but some days I think my ears will fall off from hearing "Momma" one more time. He just says it over and over with nothing else to go along with it a lot of times. Ha! I will never really tire of hearing him say it though.

Typical conversation:  "Momma!" "What?" *silence* *wait a few seconds* "Momma?!" "Yes?" *silence* *repeat* 

Last Tuesday I took my one hour Glucose Tolerance Test. I wasn't too worried, but it is a little nerve-wracking to wait for the results. Thankfully, I got my results on Friday morning and everything was in the normal limits. That's pretty much the last thing to worry with until it's time to actually go into labor. Crazy!

Just like with Graeme, and in my case, forever (the result of not having a thyroid at all!), I have had my thyroid levels monitored throughout this pregnancy. They have changed my prescription once and we will check it again next week to make sure it has leveled out appropriately. 

Other than that, things are going well and I am feeling good, thankfully!

My birthday is next week and I will be 28. Age doesn't really bother me too much, but I do realize I am right on the doorstep of 30 basically. So that's weird. Wasn't I just in high school?

Shortly after high school. With my brother. So young. And still had a thyroid to boot (giant lump in my neck!) :)

Speaking of time flying, Aaron and I have our seven year "dating anniversary" coming up on November 2nd. We have said a couple of times in the past week, "Seven years ago we weren't even together...and now we have two kids and have been married for 5.5 years." 

From the beginning...we had no clue what was in store!

Well, I'll stop rambling now. Oh, but I will mention how we are about to have a 19 month old on our hands in just two days. We will then have a little boy just five months away from his second birthday. Only five more months of saying his age in months. Then he will be two. And no one goes around saying 24 months. Aaron will be glad for that. He wanted to stop saying Graeme's age in months after he turned one. 

You can't really say "one" for the whole year when this is at the beginning of being one and...

...this is just seven months later!

Pregnancy goes by pretty slowly. 

My own age goes by a little faster. 

My time with Aaron has gone and goes by quickly. 

But surely our children growing older goes by the very fastest.

Time is funny that way.

finishing the crib

A lot has changed in a week as far as my last post. We were still waiting on the crib hardware when I last wrote, and it came in within the next day. Rodney texted that he was free to come over Saturday morning to finish setting it up. He and Aaron ended up having to make a run to the hardware store to get some Gorilla Glue (some of the holes in the crib had been a bit tampered with a bit...oh, Craig's List finds...).

They were able to get everything put together except the little gate on the top. When they got to that they were missing a few little wood screws. Rodney left Aaron all set up to be able to screw that part in himself. After Rodney left, I asked Aaron how it went since I had been entertaining Graeme and Bensen mostly. He said, "Well, as it is whenever I help someone who knows what they are doing, I basically just hold things and hand them things."

Our one job to accomplish on our own.

We picked up the screws we needed when we got groceries that afternoon, and then I helped Aaron hold the gate in place while he screwed them in. We were pretty proud of ourselves for this accomplishment until we went to close the crib and, of course, it wouldn't quite close. This was not due to our lack of handyman skills, thankfully. The latches that the crib company makes now are different than when this crib was originally made so they no longer worked in the original holes.

A little unsure of moving the latches to a new place by ourselves, we troubled Rodney to come over for the third time. (Thankfully he doesn't mind!)

Finally, on Sunday afternoon after just a few more minutes, the latches were shifted, the crib closed perfectly, and it was FINISHED! Rodney and Aaron pushed and pulled on it everywhere and it's perfectly safe and looks great now that we finally got it together! Again, we are very thankful for such great help in figuring out this crib! We love it!

Graeme checking it out. He's still pretty clueless about what's happening.

Her room is coming together now and has all of the major furniture pieces. We have decided on a pink, gray/silver, and gold color scheme with princess accents here and there. After some debate, we decided the cheapest option that made the most sense was giving Maisy Graeme's chair. We felt bad about this because we all love to sit and read in his room. To make up for it, we created a cozy reading corner. He doesn't mind at all.

It just needs things like a mattress and sheets and things hung on the wall and a changing pad and diapers and oh my...there's still some work to do.




Anyway, in other news, we celebrated Aaron's birthday yesterday! Graeme had fun coloring his birthday card to Daddy and picking out some balloons for him. He refused ice cream, per usual, but did eat a little bit of chocolate chip cookie for birthday dessert. And he wanted Mommy to sing the "Happy Birthday Song" twice.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday morning and had my glucose screening test. I should hear back in the next couple of days if I passed or not. I passed the one-hour test with Graeme, so I'm hoping it will be the same this time. Fingers crossed!

Maisy Kate is doing well and her heartbeat is strong and steady. She gave a big kick while the doctor was listening and he said, "I felt that one!" She's a pretty active little girl. We are already to the point of having appointments every two weeks now, so that's crazy. I have a feeling the end will fly by pretty fast.


Aaron's younger brother is getting married this weekend so we will see how Graeme does at a wedding now that he's older. Thankfully it is outside and should be a super short ceremony.

I'll let you know. Until next time!

and baby girl makes four

IT'S A GIRL!

Aaron and I went for our anatomy ultrasound on Monday morning. I knew a little bit more of what to expect this time around, but I was very anxious waiting in the lobby. We had a different ultrasound technician this time, and she was very nice.

She explained everything she was looking at very well. And thank goodness for that because a lot of it still looks like black and white blobs to us!

Praise the Lord that everything looked healthy and the baby was wiggling around like crazy!

When she went to look for the gender at first she commented that she was pretty sure she knew the gender but wanted baby to spread its legs further before she said it out loud.

"Sure," said Aaron, "just drag it out!"

She checked on a couple of other things and then went back down to the baby's bottom. After some jostling with the ultrasound stick thing, Baby finally spread its legs wide enough for her to capture the screen and point out there were "no boy parts!"

"Looks like a girl to me!"

It's all a little fuzzy after that. I honestly couldn't say what I thought we were going to have, but I think kind of deep down I was figuring it would be another boy. So I was pretty shocked. Aaron, who already thought it was a girl, let out a happy shout.

We finished up, and she told me I could finally relieve myself of my very full bladder by this point. I know that I always have to leave a sample and the bathroom was literally across the hall. But in the two seconds it took me to walk in there, I totally blanked and forgot to pee in the cup. Oops! 

We had our regular appointment with the doctor after that and got to hear our daughter's strong heartbeat again. That never gets old. We have another ultrasound next month to clear up some confusion about our due date. She may be making her appearance a little bit earlier. We shall see!

A girl.

How exciting.

Being the insane planners that we (ahem, I mostly) are, we have had names picked for a boy and a girl for several weeks. We decided to not go with the girl name we had picked out to go along with Graeme originally. Instead, our new baby girl will be...

Maisy Katherine Bauer

Maisy (MAY-zee) is a name I started to see here and there on the internet that I really started to love and think was super cute. Katherine is the middle name of Aaron's grandmother that passed away just one month before we got married. She was very special to both of us and we have always wanted to use Katherine as a middle name for our daughter. Plus, "Maisy Kate" as a nickname is basically too cute.

When we first looked up "Maisy" we learned it was a Scottish name (it's a nickname for "Margaret"). This basically sealed the deal because "Graeme" is also Scottish. Who knew we are apparently very drawn to Scottish baby names?! Maisy means "pearl" or another definition we found was "light's creation." Katherine means "pure."

We pray our sweet "Pure Light's Creation" will grow to be a loving daughter of the King! She will definitely be our little princess. (Her father is already wanting to plan her first trip to Disney World!)

I am honestly still letting it sink in that I will have a little girl. I have always wanted a daughter. I grew up with a little brother, and in all of my many years of babysitting/nannying, I have mostly cared for little boys. I feel very comfortable with boys. A baby girl will definitely be a new adventure.

Just as I do with Graeme, I feel a great weight of responsibility in raising Maisy. Raising a child is no small calling. With God's help, Aaron and I pray we can raise both of our kids, and any future children (that's still way up in the air!) to know God made them, loves them, and wants to be their friend forever. And that they will grow up loving Him, making wise choices, and sharing His good news with the world.

We can't wait to meet our little Maisy Kate.

In other brief news:

1. I am 19 weeks pregnant now and feeling pretty great! I have felt baby Maisy moving for a few weeks, but Aaron is able to feel her now! 
2. We had a GREAT time at the beach! It was the first time we had ever gone on vacation with just my family. Graeme LOVED it this time and is still asking about the beach every day. I will have to do another post with more details of our last beach trip of the summer.
3. Graeme will be 17 months old on Sunday!?! I can't believe we are almost halfway to him turning two. If I had to pick one word to describe him right now it would be "FUN!" He is so inquisitive, curious, and smart. We are able to carry on pretty coherent conversations with him and he is very able to express what he wants. Or doesn't want. He is still mostly obsessed with the dump trucks outside our house.

He's going to be a great big brother in a few months!

beach take two, throwing up, and mini vans

It's August. There are less than five months in 2015 and that's weird. Summer has, as suspected, gone by really fast!

We have one more long vacation next week. We are headed to Carolina Beach with my family for the week. It's kind of fun that we bookended summer with two family beach trips. We spent a week with Aaron's family at Myrtle Beach in the beginning of June. I believe I mentioned in the blog that Graeme was not a huge fan of the ocean or sand back in June, so we are interested to see if a couple of months will make a difference.

Not a fan.

Graeme is mostly obsessed with trucks right now. There is a dump truck and a loader (not sure if that's the right name) that have now been working right down the street from us for about two weeks now. They are moving a MOUNTAIN of dirt and rocks and construction debris. They have made a big dent in it but I think it will take them quite a bit longer to finish. Graeme might cry when they are done. It's the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up and the last thing he wants to do at the end of the day:  watch the dump truck.

"Dump truck! Dirt! Where'd it go?! Back!"

This is what he repeats over and over again. It's super cute and I can't believe how long he will stay out there just watching the dump truck go back and forth. You would think it would get boring. The man that drives the dump truck always waves at him and we have talked to him a couple of times.

"You need to get that boy a dump truck for Christmas!" he said. He is probably right.

At least he doesn't want to watch sports yet.

I am 17 weeks pregnant now! I have still been feeling much better but I had a minor setback. I either ate something bad that gave me food poisoning or had a stomach bug thing last Thursday. I am not sure which it was. It was definitely not pregnancy sickness related. It was a really bad 24 hours and then I was still not quite back to normal for the whole weekend. So that wasn't fun.

I could have cared less that I felt horrible and was more concerned for the baby and that Graeme or Aaron would catch it if it was a bug. By the next day, I did feel better and was able to keep some food down. And by Monday, I was all back to normal. Yay. Oh, and no one else got sick so I think we are in the clear.




Other than that, things have been great!

We have begun the search for a new (used) car. And by car, I mean mini van. Yes. I said it.

Aaron and I used to swear we would never own a mini van. But then we had a kid and decided to have another kid soon after. With two kids under two, a mini van began to creep in my thoughts saying, "You know you need me!"

I was pretty sold on it, but Aaron was still pretty sold on making an SUV work. We went to a couple of different places last weekend to look. After looking at both options, the mini van wins.

The SUVs that we can actually afford may have a third row of seats, but the third row cannot be used with carseats and it removes pretty much all storage when it's up. Since we cannot officially say "Two kids and we're done," we don't want to settle on something that may not have enough seats in the long run.

The mini vans we looked at were in the same price range or less and had lots of seats and lots of storage. I am most excited about the sliding doors that open with a button. Getting Graeme to the car with all of the things is already a handful. So adding an infant carrier back in the mix plus baby supplies makes sliding doors sound like heaven. No more worrying about banging my car door into the car next to me while I maneuver children into the car. For the win.

I'll keep you posted as we attempt to purchase our first car together. We still aren't sure which car we are getting rid of to acquire this van. I am, of course, clueless on all things financial. Thank goodness for Aaron.

"Are you guys sure you know what you're doing?"

We are less than two weeks away from finding out the gender of this sweet baby! I am trying not to think about it all the time but it is so hard to wait! At least I will have the beach to distract me next week.

Until next time.

blogging is hard sometimes

Most people say that your second child is not quite as "documented" as your first. Meaning baby books, pictures, videos, journals, and so on.

I know this is somewhat true for me and my brother. My childhood photo album is a bit more crowded. Haha.

I saw a blog before I became pregnant this time. It was a mom writing an apology to her second child about how their baby book was often neglected and they didn't have as many photos and videos. Because this time around the mom was busy loving both kids. And chasing the older brother around.

I think I can understand that.

I blogged about every single week after the first trimester of my pregnancy with Graeme. This goal with Baby 2 is already seeming incredibly insurmountable. I was telling a friend that as much as I love writing on this blog, lately, it's been way down on my list of things to do. With Graeme only taking one nap (and needing constant supervision when he's awake), working part-time, and then barely having energy to take a shower and stay awake past 8:30pm in the evenings, blogging and many other things are falling to the wayside.

So, I will try my best to document Baby 2 during pregnancy and life. But I think I surrender to the truth that having two kids is way different than having one. And some things will just have to be more important than others. Sanity and rest will win!

But, today, I do have some time and some brain power to put some words onto the screen.

So, hi.


I am 15 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. Baby 2 is the size of an orange. I feel more pregnant this time around. For example, I already feel like it's uncomfortable to sleep on my stomach. And every once in awhile I perhaps maybe think I already feel the baby. I can't be 100% certain on that though.

Just like my pregnancy with Graeme, there is a magical switch that got flipped right around 14 weeks that made me feel a bazillion times better. No more nausea or throwing up. Most food sounds good to me again. I think Aaron is especially glad of this. Our restaurant and dinner choices were quite narrow for awhile.

So now, my only problem is being tired all of the time. This is most likely caused by pregnancy plus running after a very, very busy toddler all day long.

I had a routine appointment last Friday with my OB. When we made the appointment I wanted it to be with my favorite doctor. We were looking at dates a month out, and the receptionist said our doctor was going to be out of town but could do the Friday before. This happened to be a day that Aaron was at camp with the kiddos from church, but he graciously said I should go anyway and take my mom with me instead.

Before he left for camp, I jokingly said, "You know, if he can't find the heartbeat right away they will do an ultrasound. What do I do if he can see the gender?!"

Well, I should have kept my mouth shut because sure enough, my prediction came true. When he listened with the doppler, we kept hearing little jabs. He said the baby was kicking. He moved it around for a couple of minutes with no luck in finding that steady little beat. At one point, I heard one and said "Oh!" And the doctor said, "That's yours." 

"Oh."

After two or three minutes he said he wasn't going to chase the baby around all morning and we should just go next door and take a look. Even though hearing the baby's heartbeat is absolutely amazing, seeing the baby on the screen is extra reassuring and exciting.

Our little sweet baby had grown so much since Aaron and I had last seen them seven weeks before. The heart rate was strong and steady at 161bpm. The doctor moved around a bit.

"There's his head. There's his face. There's his stomach. There's his arm."

"Wow, that's awesome," I said. Because I still can't get over how amazing growing a baby is. "Wait, you're just saying 'his' like neutral 'his,' right?!"

He and my mom laughed. "Yes, neutral. I don't know that I could tell yet."

He moved the wand so we could see in-between the baby's legs. I of course have no clue what I'm looking at really and he moved it away quickly, so I didn't see much of anything.

"Well don't say it if you know!" I quickly added. "Aaron might kill me!"

"It's still pretty early to be sure," he said as he shut it down and pulled off a few pictures for me to take.

I sat up and we stood to leave. "Thanks so much. We will see you next time," I said as we walked out of the exam room.

"Yep. See you. And I think I know what it is."

"What?!" my mom and I both said loudly.

"I think I'm right, but you'll have a better look at it next month. And I will be curious to see if I'm right!"

This, of course, made it very hard not to just ask him. But, I knew I wanted Aaron to be there and I would never find out without him. Plus, if the doctor was wrong, I would hate to get my heart set on something that might change. The receptionist reassured us that he was definitely not able to tell that for sure at this point. Although I guess the only "for sure" is when you see the baby for the first time!

We left with the date for our anatomy ultrasound (August 17!!) and some sweet pictures of Baby 2's profile. That was more than good enough for me.

Graeme will be 16 months old tomorrow! Oh my!

He's very busy. He's very opinionated. He's very talkative. And he's very persuasive.

I know every parent thinks their kid is cute and funny. We are no exception. We think our little kid is so stinking cute and he's hilarious.

I love to just watch him play with things because it is fascinating to watch his little brain computing.

He is still very tall for his age. At his 15 month check-up he was 33.5 inches (over the 95%) and 25 pounds, 13 ounces. The doctor said he should be saying six-nine words. He's got about one hundred. Again, I'm not sure how he's so smart. God made him!

He knows a lot of his shapes, especially circles and stars. And bats. Because of course he knows what a bat is. He all of a sudden could say his opposites last week. We have an Eric Carle Opposites book that we read maybe every couple of days. When Aaron was at camp, he and I were reading it, and he just started saying the opposites. I was blown away. He can say almost all of the rainbow colors, but the one he is consistently right about is blue. He goes around the house and finds thing that are blue and will shout "Blue!" over and over until you acknowledge that "Yes, that is 'blue,' and you are very smart." Aaron Bauer's son for sure.

He loves to look for airplanes. Our house is right under some sort of flight path so we see quite a few planes. Some are fairly low to the ground and he gets so excited. When he can't see it anymore he will say "Where'd it go?!" and then wave "Bye-bye." Last week we were in the mall parking lot and the ABC11 helicopter flew over. He screamed "Airplane!"

"Yes, buddy, that's kind of like an airplane but it's called a helicopter. Helicopter."

He stared after it and then spouted off "helicopter" in his own little language. He then talked about the helicopter going bye-bye all the way home and when we got home he immediately looked up in the sky and asked about it.

"Well, unfortunately, I don't think we'll see another helicopter today. They don't come around very often."

I should have known better again. After dinner that night, we happened to be outside when a giant military helicopter flew over. Graeme was ecstatic. And so was I. Because how often do you see two helicopters in one day?

Graeme's hair grows like a weed and is already back in his eyes and on his ears. When he starts constantly rubbing his eyes to get it out of his way, it's definitely time for another haircut. He has an appointment on Friday.




Well, that's what's been going on around here with us and our two little ones. Until next time, friends.

26 weeks later

On Saturday 26 weeks ago (six months ago), I was still looking like this:

The day before that, I wrote in my journal:

We are asking You for a natural start to labor. You know best, and I believe You will fulfill Your plan for Graeme's delivery no matter what!

God answered our prayer, and Graeme decided he was coming out into the world on a Saturday night six months ago.

Even though he is technically six months old on Tuesday, since he was born on a Sunday, tomorrow is pretty significant to me as well. Tomorrow marks 26 weeks, the halfway point of the 52 weeks in a year.

Twenty six Sundays ago, our little hero came into our lives like a speeding bullet. He hardly let me push...he was out in thirty minutes!

He's barely stopped moving since. Anyone who has spent any time with Graeme will tell you:  his legs and arms never stop.

We have enjoyed 26 weeks of his squirming, smiles, snuggles, and sweet sounds.

It's such a wonderful adventure to be a mom. 

Happy 26 weeks, Graeme Grayson! We love you so very much.

to wanna-be moms and gonna-be moms (the first timers)

I definitely recommend this.

I've talked to some future moms lately. Some are already pregnant. Some plan to be one day. The questions I usually get asked first are "What's your favorite thing about being a mom?" or "What's the hardest thing about being a mom?"

Those type of questions are always hard for me to answer. I have a hard time choosing a favorite movie, let alone choosing my favorite part of motherhood. It changes each day.

So does the hardest thing. I don't think being a mom is hard in general, but of course, there are hard moments each day. And they change day to day.

But, I do have some opinions about motherhood (emphasis on opinions...I definitely don't claim to know much!). Here are my thoughts on some things that God has been teaching me since I became pregnant and now as I try to mother my five month old baby boy... 

1.  "Expectation is the root of all heartache."

I found this quote and it is very questionable if anyone famous actually ever said it. 
It is not a William Shakespeare quote, say his adoring fans. I don't know who said it, but I think there is some truth to it. Aaron and I talk about expectations a lot. They are almost always the root cause of our frustrations and disappointments. (example being: I expect him to do such and such a thing even though I may not say it out loud, and when he doesn't do that thing, I'm frustrated with him.)

I do think there is such a thing as a good expectation and I definitely don't think you should go around expecting the worst from everything and everyone just so you're not ever disappointed.

All of that being said, let's get around to what it has to do with having a baby, specifically, labor and delivery:  have reasonable expectations. 

On the one hand, I think you should expect the best. Having a negative expectation of labor won't make it easier. You'll be so worried about it that you will probably be very tense and on edge. It will be easier if you have a healthy expectation that yes, it's not going to be a day at the spa, but it's going to go by fairly quickly, and you'll probably be like "Aw that wasn't too bad let's have another one someday."

Now, on the other hand, I don't think it's wise to go into labor with a very cut and dry expectation of how it will go for you. There are all of these templates out for making your "birth plan." I don't think there's anything wrong with having a plan...in fact, I'm typically all about a plan, and I filled out one of those birth plans for fun. But, with having a baby, I think the best plan is:  Do whatever you need to do to have a healthy baby delivered safely.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with planning on a natural labor. But if that's your expectation and that's your only plan, what happens if it doesn't work out? You shouldn't feel like a failure because you need to have surgery or use some medication. Your baby might need to arrive safely that way.

There's also nothing wrong with a plan to have an epidural. But, if you're like, "Give me an epidural right away! I can't do it without one!" Well, that expectation might not work out the way you want.

So, I'm not saying you shouldn't plan on natural labor or plan on an epidural or whatever else. I'm just saying don't expect it to go that way with no questions asked. It might, and that would be great. But if it doesn't, you might be in for some unnecessary heartache.

Expect the best, have an idea of how you want things to go, but be willing to change your plan if you need to. It will be less stressful for everyone involved.

2.  Have confidence in the decisions you make.

God created you and will help you be the mom your baby needs. You are made just for your baby! There are so many options for how to do things when it comes to having and raising a baby...

Birth at home with a midwife? Birth in a hospital with an OBGYN?
Disposable diapers? Cloth diapers?
Breastfeeding? Formula?
Stay at home? Go back to work?
Co-sleeping? Sleep training?
Demand feeding? Scheduled feeding?


The list goes on.

I am pretty sure that most parents love their babies so much that they would do anything for them. With that kind of love, you're going to do what's best for your baby because you can't help but do what's best for them. And you and your spouse get to decide what's best. Not people's opinions on Facebook. Not a lactation consultant. Not a book. You and your spouse. That's it.

What you decide is best for your baby might seem like the opposite of what is best to someone else. But that's their opinion. And they don't know your baby and your family like you do.

So, do some research. Always keep your baby's health and safety in mind. But when it comes down to it, choose what works for you and don't worry about what others think about it.

People often like to pick a side of the things I listed above and then condemn the other side. Yes, there are some things that we all have to agree on like eating healthy during pregnancy and getting exercise. When the baby comes, we would agree that they need to eat, sleep, and have their basic needs met. 

However, how you do those things is really up to you. There isn't a right answer. If you want to breastfeed, that's awesome. If you can't or choose not to, that's awesome too. Your baby will be loved and healthy either way. And you are an amazing mom either way. This goes for all of the things listed above.

You will figure out what works for your family. Make a decision with your spouse and then be confident in the decision you make.

Remember, God had you in mind for your baby. Seek Him, talk with your spouse, trust your mommy instincts, and then don't worry about anything or anyone else.

3.  Have a schedule/routine, but be flexible.

I think schedules and routines are really good for babies and for their families. They help everyone know what to expect, including the baby. You don't have to rush right into a strict schedule the minute you get home from the hospital. But, eventually, when you are all feeling ready, some kind of daily schedule is very helpful.  Even if it shifts a little each day, it will give you an idea of how to plan things out that you need to get done. And it will help your baby regulate their eating and sleeping.

Now, some days, the schedule goes straight down the drain for various reasons. Moreover, you should never be so strict with your schedule that you aren't giving your baby what they need. If your baby is truly hungry or sleepy "when it's not time" don't deprive them of sleep or food!

And it's okay to not follow your schedule somedays (I'm telling myself this too!) Sometimes, it's okay to run out during nap time. If there's a night every once in awhile that you need to be out past bedtime, everyone will survive. I promise. 




4. Make necessary changes to your lifestyle, but don't let life completely revolve around your baby.

You may have to say no to some things that you could do easily before a baby came along. Those late night movies on a whim are a thing of the past. 

But life doesn't stop forever. It doesn't change totally and completely. After the first couple of weeks (when life really does seem to stop), introduce things from your "old life" back in gradually. Cleaning, errands, exercise, dates. Everything that you used to do is still possible, it just requires extra planning, time, and help. 

Babies require a lot of your emotions, your money, your patience, your time, your laundry room. Yes, it's easy to get overwhelmed.

I've learned that flexibility and prioritizing are so very important, as well as accepting help.  Whether it be from your husband, your parents, your in-laws, or friends. Find some trusted people that love your baby and let them help you. You aren't in this alone.

Most importantly, whatever else you do, find time to ask the One who made you and your baby for his help each day. He will give you strength and wisdom to get through every difficult moment.

Goodness. That's a lot. I don't know if it is helpful to anyone, but if it is, I'm glad. I really just want you girls that are about to be a mom or want to be a mom to know that you are wise and capable and you will love your baby more than you can imagine. And because you love them so much, you will know what's best for them. And as you figure out what works for you and for your baby, you may see something on social media or Facebook that calls the way you're choosing wrong or neglectful or crazy or unhealthy. But most likely, it's not. What's considered "good" or "bad" is always changing. (Your parents probably had totally different "rules" when they had you and their parents before them and so on!) If you are using your common sense and your "mommy sense" and making decisions that work for your family, you are doing an awesome thing. 

You will be an amazing mother. You will make some mistakes, but you will learn from them. You will have a hard day, but you will get a smile from that little face that will make it all better. You will find some things that seemed scary to be not scary at all. You will find things that looked easy to be very difficult.

You can do it though. No doubt. You will be the mom God created just for your baby. And you are enough. Because the Jesus in you is more than enough.

the story of Graeme's arrival (part 3)

If you missed part 1 or part 2, make sure to read them first!


Note:  I tried to keep this post PG! I hope it's not too much information. :)


We last ended where Dr. Anderson had broken my water (it was quite stubborn and never did break itself). Our families came back in to say hi for a few minutes, but then Megan ushered everyone out so that Aaron and I could get some rest.

Since I was finally able to relax due to my epidural, I could get semi-comfortable. Aaron cozied up in the stiff, leather recliner by the window, and I cozied up in my inclined hospital bed with monitors and needles. You know, the best night of sleep ever, basically.

I am pretty sure I only "slept" for about 30 minutes, when my contractions started to bother me again.

Megan did an ice test thing where I would tell her when I could feel cold. One of my legs felt no cold (that's a good thing). The other leg still felt cold near the top. She had me roll over to try to spread some medicine to that leg. 

I tried to rest some more, but the contractions were not as "pleasant" feeling as right after my epidural.

Around 1:00am, Megan checked my progress. I was now dilated six centimeters (woo hoo!), but the contractions were not getting better no matter what position I was in. Megan gave me another dose of medicine to try to kick start some good feelings. She said if that didn't help, we would need to call the anesthesiologist back in to check and make sure nothing had shifted. That was not news I liked to hear. I was pretty sure I did not want to have to get my epidural "fixed" if it entailed doing it all over again!

But, at this point, I figured we were progressing about a centimeter every 1-2 hours, so we would probably not see our baby until breakfast time. 5-6 more hours with no epidural sounded just as unpleasant.

I prayed that the new medicine would work, but the contractions were getting to be almost as worse as before the epidural. Aaron had woken up from his nap at this point and was helping me breathe again.

Finally, after 20 minutes with no improvement, Megan was about to make the call for the anesthesiologist. Then she said, "You know what, just to make sure, let me check you one more time." 

To our surprise she looked up and said, "Oh. You know why you're in so much pain? You're complete. It's time to have a baby!"

I just laid there for a few seconds in shock. "What? Really?"

"Yep! Ten centimeters! I need to get things ready and we can start pushing!"

She started bustling in and out of the room gathering blankets and carts and things and who knows what.

I looked at Aaron and we were both thrown off a little bit. Our baby was coming. Like now. Just 20 minutes earlier we were at six centimeters. Now, Graeme was ready to bust out of there.

Aaron hurriedly texted our parents that "It's time! We're at 10!"

Then, he started getting a little panicked again. Actually, this time, I panicked a bit too! Megan started to explain how Aaron needed to hold one of my legs but not to push it certain ways. I had rules too. Push like this, not like this, and so on. I was glad for Megan because I felt so not ready for this part yet.

She explained that another nurse would come in to help, and when Graeme was about to fall out (at least that's how I took it), that's when we would call in Dr. Anderson.

Once we were all set up and I was "comfortable," we started pushing. This was around 1:50am.

I was feeling pretty good during the pushing. It didn't actually hurt, but it was hard work! Aaron was a little squeamish at first, but eventually, he got over it. To my surprise, he actually peeked every so often!

After only a few pushes, Megan informed us that she could see a head with hair on it. (By the way, I'm sorry again if this is ever too graphic). "Yay!" I said smiling at Aaron. I have prayed this whole pregnancy that he would have hair.

I was also surprised that she could see anything yet, because I didn't feel like I was doing much. The numbness was throwing me off and it was really hard to tell if things were moving or happening.

Megan reassured me that "You're doing amazing! Most women push for hours to get this far!" (Sorry, to "most women." Don't hate me.)

We kept pushing, and besides extreme concentration which required some strange faces on my part, I never screamed or cried or made any noises. 

Aaron joked, "I thought for sure the one time I would hear you scream would be while you're in labor. And here you are smiling after each set of pushes."

I laughed. I knew I was not far at all from meeting this little boy that had been growing inside me for what seemed like forever. This labor thing was easy.

After 25 minutes of pushing with Megan and Aaron, who kept updating me on "what they could see" down there (I declined a mirror. No thank you. My imagination and updates from the two of them were good enough.), Megan called for Dr. Anderson.

Now it really wouldn't be long. I glanced at the clock and remember that it was close to 2:15am.

When Dr. Anderson came in, Megan reminded Aaron that if Graeme's shoulders happened to get stuck, he would need to move and let the other nurse take over. And I would need to do exactly what she said no matter what.

This was definitely getting real.

Dr. Anderson got all ready and set up (we had pushed a few more times since he arrived in the room).

When he got down there he said, "Woah! We are almost done here!"

That was crazy, and exciting, and surreal.

Dr. Anderson took over the coaching. After one set of the normal three pushes, on the next set, he said, "Do you have one more in you?"

"Sure," I replied. So we pushed a fourth time. Aaron yelled "Woah!!" I knew that we were getting close.

We took a little break until I felt ready again. Then we started another set of pushes.


One push.


Two push.


I was on the third push, when all of a sudden, there was a warm, crying, (slimy) baby on my chest.

"Oh!"

It took me a second to realize I was even done. He was here. I glanced. He was definitely a boy. Graeme was here. My little baby boy.

I heard Megan say, "If you were aiming for 2:30 exactly, you did it!"

I stared at Graeme. And I stared at Aaron. And there were definitely smiles and happy tears.

Aaron was smiling like crazy. "You're amazing. You did it. He's here."

We held Graeme as he calmed down. He was perfect. All of the drama of the day and the waiting for nine months and the heartburn and the nausea and the waiting and the waiting and did I mention waiting...all of that was over and totally, completely worth it.

I begrudgingly gave him to the other nurse who took him to get his weight and his APGAR and all of that other stuff. Megan stayed with me while Dr. Anderson finished up with everything down there. What Dr. Anderson was doing after the fact was actually more painful than labor. What's the deal with pushing on your stomach like they want to push through to the other side? 

Aaron was the lucky one and got to go help the nurse with Graeme. I could see what they were doing over there at least.

We didn't want to be the parents that posted a picture of the kid fresh out of all of the goop because they usually look more "scary alien-like" than "cute, cuddly baby." But Graeme was pretty cute despite all of the slime. Plus, this picture is hilarious and telling of what we're in for. He had already mastered the pouty face right off the start. 

It was hard to believe that it had only been 22.5 hours since I woke up at 4am on Saturday. Little did I know that I would deliver our little guy in less than 24 hours!

Overall, labor and delivery was great. The whole "come to the hospital, leave the hospital, come to the hospital, maybe to leave the hospital" was the worst thing. And the mean, "Debbie Downer" nurse was a low point, of course. 

I went in to the whole labor thing with no expectations. No "plan." I wasn't really nervous or scared. I wanted to go with the flow and do what was best for Graeme. I guess I might have had it "easy"...unless I have an uncanny tolerance for pain...not sure. I am glad I got an epidural towards the end. I am sure the whole pushing thing would have been a lot more painful without it. For sure, I'm not deterred from trying this whole baby thing again. But let's give it a couple years at least!



And that is the story of Graeme's arrival.